Cycle One: The Culture of Childhood

     Out of the two articles and the book reading for the week, the one that made the most impact on me was The Overprotected Kid from The Atlantic. In reading just the first paragraph I was already having negative thoughts about The Land; muddy spots, a steep slope by a creek, an old boat? Big, red danger signs were flashing in my head. No way would I let my three old son play there! It only got worse; a fire in the corner, broken chairs, inappropriate music, filthy mattresses, a rope where you may or may not make it over the creek? What kind of place is this? Why are there no parents here and why hasn’t this death trap been shut down? Then I kept reading and realized I may have been too quick to judge. An adventure playground with loose parts that kids can manipulate and create their own structures; how amazing is that? Clearly, it is almost unheard of here in the United States. I thought immediately of my first and second grade boys. They would lose their minds over a rope they could swing on, tires that they could roll and move around, and mattresses they could jump on. I thought of all the kids in school settings that could benefit from this brilliant idea instead of the normal swinging, sliding or monkey bar choices. Especially as more and more research comes out about how students need multiple 10 to 15 minute “brain breaks” a day, what an incredible brain break this could be for them. I can just picture a group of my girls walking in a boat, pretending to look for mermaids as they set sail on the ocean. Although, I still don’t see why the chairs have to be broken or the mattresses filthy. They can still manipulate and use their imaginations with clean things! And definitely no fires! That just isn’t safe!

Parents in my generation, myself included, are very cautious about their children’s play. We want to make sure that what they are doing is safe and we try to foresee all the horrible things that could go wrong and create rules to prevent them from happening. It is different than even when I was a child in the ‘80’s. I walked to and from the bus stop by myself when I was in first grade. I rode my bike to school by myself starting in third grade. I came home and immediately played out in the streets, riding bikes, playing kickball, going further from the house than I was allowed to and I never got caught because there were never any parents around! Kids played outside by themselves without constant parent supervision. We only went inside when our parents came out on the front porch and yelled that it was dinner time. It is so different now. A child’s day is so scheduled, regimented and everything is supervised. My classroom has a set schedule which I rarely stray from; reading and writing in the room and math, science, and social studies in the afternoon. A child’s after school time is structured; snack, homework, tv time, dinner, bath, bed and any extracurricular or sports activities. Play dates are scheduled as opposed to when I was young and I just walked over to a friend’s house to see if they could play. Times have definitely changed.

I think that regardless of what generation kids were brought up in, parents always had the best intentions in mind. So much of what parents do is based on what the “experts” tell them to do. My parents and my friends’ parents didn’t let us play outside by ourselves because they were being careless, they did it because that is what all parents did and it’s probably what pediatricians told them to do – let your kids play outside! Just as now, we generally tend to monitor our kids when they are playing. Why? Because it is what most parents do and pediatricians tell us to monitor our kids during play time to assure their safety. When I had my son three years ago, my parents and I used to argue about his crib situation all the time. They would tell me he needed to be sleeping on his stomach, with a thick crib liner and a blanket on him to keep him warm and comfortable. I used to groan and tell them he needed to be on his back, with no crib liner and no blankets or toys or stuffed animals. I used to roll my eyes at them and tell them they are lucky I survived my infancy! But why did they do those things? Because it’s what all the parents were doing and…what the pediatricians were tell them to do at the time. Same as now – we were doing what the pediatrician and the books of the time were telling us was the right thing to do. Now, my parents, aunts and uncles get together and talk about how strict all of us (my cousins and I) are with our babies and children. “They don’t put salt or sugar in their babies’ food, they have to be asleep at 7:30, they let their babies fall asleep on their own, they won’t let their little ones eat cookies, etc. Every time, I have to stop and remind myself of that what the “experts” might be saying when I’m blessed enough to be a grandparent. I will give my children advice on how I did things with them when they were babies and they will inevitably roll their eyes at me and tell me how lucky I am that they survived through their infancy!